Have you ever encountered someone and thought - "That is a really good person. They're so good I feel a little guilty that I may not measure up." Well I received sad news that one such person in my past has died.
Dr. Bernard Rosenberg lived for 92 years and passed away on Tuesday. I can't say that I knew him well. I can only say that my brief encounters with him made me want to be more like him.
It was 2000 and my wife and I were finishing the renovations to our first house - a lovely little Cape Cod on a quiet street. Since this was my former life I was not home with kids - I was working as a painting contractor. I had just been hired by Dr. Rosenberg to spruce up his house before he put it up for sale. He was a widower and was set to be remarried (at 84 years old!)
The moment I walked in the place I knew it would be perfect for us. It needed a lot of work but it was in a gorgeous neighborhood and the architectural detail throughout the home was stunning. I immediately called my wife and told her that we had to put an offer in on the good doctor's house (it helped that my mother was going to be the listing agent). To my wife's credit she didn't curse at me or tell me I was crazy. She obviously wanted to actually look at the house first but she trusted my judgment. Once she saw the place she fell in love too.
Dr. Rosenberg learned that we were interested in the house and he invited me (only me) to come over to discuss things man to man. Although he was an octogenarian he had a very sharp mind and had the energy of a man half his age. We sat in the formal living room set up with antique tables and cozy conversation areas. I felt like I was asking for his granddaughter's hand in marriage or something but he was direct and honest. Most sellers would want to know the bottom line - how much? But he was more concerned with whether we planned on raising a family in the house. I assured him that we would and this seemed to please him a great deal. We talked about a myriad of things before we got to the question of price.
Once we did broach that subject I presented our offer which I thought was fair. I guess he did too because he agreed at once and we shook hands like men do. No contracts, no lawyers, nothing. Just my word and his. And he told us that he could wait until we sold our house. And he did wait just as he said.
Not only that, he paid the landscaper through the spring, filled the 1000 gallon oil tank and paid the yearly association fees in advance. We didn't request any of this - he just did it because he wanted to get us off on a good foot in the house.
Looking back I'm struck by his generosity but I am more struck by his trust. I was a young kid who he barely knew and he trusted that I would honor my word. It was a powerful feeling. I guess the way he treated me made me feel more like the man I was becoming.
Bernard Rosenberg was a doctor, artist, father and World War II veteran. However, he was none of these things to me. He was a Gentleman. I think the world needs more Gentlemen. Unfortunately it just lost one.
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Hey Joe,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to thank you for this fantastic post. I'm lucky enough to have married one of Dr. Rosenberg's granddaughters, probably about the time you bought the house. I was fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with the doctor, and get to know him as Bernie. My first encounter was quite like yours, though I would realize quickly that I was actually being interviewed as a potential suitor for his granddaughter.
At the time, I was unemployed and temping (and 23 years old), and he grilled me on my plans and aspirations. Just as you say, he was an honest man and he expected honest answers. My own father is just ten years younger than Bernie, and I appreciated his old fashioned code of honesty and directness (his granddaughter did not always appreciate his chivalry), and did not flinch at his questioning, which I would learn later earned his respect as well. At the end of his questioning, he rhetorically and rather disapprovingly asked, "so... you're just planning on freeloading off my granddaughter?" I'm sure I laughed uncomfortably, because as it would turn out, he pretty much nailed it!
It was an honor to know him, and I think you got it exactly right. He was the very definition of a Gentleman. I'm fortunate to have learned from him, and only hope to be able to pass a bit of that on to his great-grandchildren, one of whom, now five years old, was named after him.
Thanks for your post. You live in a house with generations of good memories, and are now also a part of the legacy.
Jon