Knives at Dawn (or the Local Grocery Store)

Example #117 of living in a small town:

Scene: Local community center kitchen with Yours Truly attending a cooking class

Executive Chef:  "You know if you need your knives at home sharpened you can take them to the grocery store in town and they will sharpen them while you shop...free of charge.

Me:  Really? That's awesome. I think I'll bring them several tomorrow.

 But then I got to thinking about the logistics. How do I transport these knives? Canvas boat bag - check. But is it prudent to stroll into a major supermarket wielding weapons (although not of mass destruction). Imagine my humiliation if I'm caught, knives confiscated and I'm banned from ever buying kale again in my quaint New England town. I would make the police blotter for sure.

 Well gentle reader, I threw caution to the wind and cruised down to my local grocer this morning - cutlery in hand. I made a beeline to the butcher and here's how it went...

Me:  Excuse me, a chef friend of mine said that you offer knife sharpening here. Is that true?

Red Bearded Butcher:  Uh, yeah. How soon ya need 'em? If you got some shoppin' to do I can have them ready by the time your done.

Me:  Uh, great! See ya in a little while. Thanks  a lot!
 So off I went, happy as a clam - free is good! I zipped up and down the aisles and checked back with Red Beard. Lo and behold - he handed me a bag of razor sharp knives. I'm guessing security is not paramount at my supermarket. 

I'm nearly in the clear, thinking I'm going to make it out without incident. So I head to checkout armed to the teeth when I get a question from my intellectually challenged grocery bagger.

Bag Man:  Can I have your reusable bag please?

Me (panicked): No! I mean...No - I've got stuff in here. I'll just have plastic thanks.

 I get a searching look from the Camel smoking checkout lady but no one Id's my stash. I'm free and clear! Effortless dicing is  in my future.

And that's it. I wish for the sake of storytelling that I was tackled by security or tased by the police but I wasn't. People just trust people here. It's weird. And good. And how I wish the world could be.