At the risk of sounding like a completely out of touch Dad, what's up with all the tattoos? I saw a Chanel ad in Vanity Fair the other day that pictured an attractive girl with a neck tattoo (I think it's Rhianna but I'm not cool enough to be sure). The last time I checked the only people allowed to have neck tattoos were gang members, Hells Angels and anyone incarcerated. Now it's spread to musicians, Starbucks baristas and every player in the NBA.
It started out so innocently, this slow wave of tat ubiquity. First it was drunk college chicks on spring break getting a cute little dolphin or shamrock on their ankle. "Tee hee, my Mom is gonna kill me. Jen are you gonna get one too? I will if you will. OK let's totally do it."
Then came the low rise jeans and the annoying butterfly on the small of the back. The proverbial "tramp stamp". I like that term. I think it may have dissuaded some young ladies from taking the plunge into white trashiness.
Let's not forget the guys. When I was in college every jug head athlete went with the barbed wire around the upper bicep. Nice. That's gonna look great when you're flabby and 50 Ace. Or better yet, the Chinese characters on the calf or the back of the arm. It may make me a bad person but every time I see someone who's obviously not Chinese with these things I pray that their tattoo reads "this guy smells like jerky" rather than "The journey is the reward" like he thinks.
My fear is that this trend will continue and my kids will grow up thinking it's no big deal to get some ink. Even worse, if employers start to accept it. At least now you know that you're limiting your job options and parents can use that as an argument.
"Billy, I'm glad you asked me first. You know son, getting a skull and cross bones on your right cheek is going to whittle down your potential employers. If you want to be a sword swallower at the circus I say go ahead. If you're looking for an IT job at IBM I would advise some restraint."
Unless you've killed someone, can sing like Chris Cornell or can dunk like Jordan you must leave the above the shoulder ink alone. We are a nation of laws people. Let's have some decorum.
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